The need to feel accepted and a part of the group  is in our DNA from hunter-gatherer days. If we failed to belong, we could not survive alone. However, some of us have taken this natural survival instinct to a harmful level and can no longer communicate directly and honestly or practice self-care.  I wonder if psychologists have created a disorder in the DSM called Worrying Too Much About What Other People Think. :)  

A major Foucault type concern I have is when adults guilt young people into acting “appropriately” – when the society disciplines through shaming.  No longer does society have to publicly and physically shame people into acting morally correct. Gone are the days of dragging adulterers by a rope attached to a horse through the streets.  We have become more sophisticated and more psychologically brutal. It’s damaging when one grows up fearing that loved ones will die if he or she doesn’t ”act right”.   The threat that the family will lose its name and respect in the community loom over many kid’s heads. The fear that the mother will become a martyr and suffer silently for her child’s wrongdoings is a doozie. When we are overly dependant on what other people think we become soul sick and far away from our center.

 Daily, I stay conscious of being impeccable with my words – meaning what I say and saying what I mean. Those not meant to be in my life will fall away (as Linda says) and I will have more room in my life for those meant for me.